Dear Life - Anthony Hamilton

I LOVE LIFE

SEx....whatz all the fuzzz

Has anyone ever spoken to you about sex before and after marriage? Have they ever told you to wait until you find that special person that loves you beyond belief? Have they ever said that sex is a very bad thing that you should never do? I have heard the latter so many times while I was growing into myself.

They say that sex before marriage is a sin before God, I have struggled to believe this for a very long time and even as I write, I still seek explanation to the mystery that surrounds the ethics of sexual relationship and how this relates to God.

One might argue that sex is a symbol of love, this I believe to be true because after marriage, sex represents intimacy. So what makes sex bad before marriage and good after marriage?
My knowledge leads me to believe that whatever is bad is bad, and whatever is good is good. A lie can not become the truth, regardless of any explanation you have, so what makes sex bad and then good?

Before I continue, I feel the need to define my understanding of sex as I know that different people will have different definition for sex.

My definition of sex is the ultimate and most intimate exchange of physical, mental and emotional pleasure; it is yearning to connect with another soul and having one’s innermost desires met.

A level of most intimate can not be achieved unless love is in abundance, however I am not oblivious to the fact that sex has being abused and is constantly being abused. I also understand the spiritual connection that sex promotes. Notice I wrote “promote” and not “begin”, because I believe that a spiritual connection can be attained without sexual encounter.

So my question is what makes sex unacceptable before marriage and acceptable after marriage?

If your answer involves the bible and you feel the need to direct me to the letter of Paul to the Corinthians, you will have to explain why Paul wrote the letter and what he intended during that period or if you wish to direct me to what the bible states about fornication, then you will have to tell me why it is fornication before marriage and not after marriage since sex is still the major factor.

Ok, now I feel the need to write about fornication. The word fornication does not mean sexual relationship between two unmarried people. OK, let me explain before you rain insults on me.

You will have to agree with me that the bible you carry about is only a translation of what the true bible is. The bible was translated from Greek to English by King James. This is why it states on the first few pages of the bible the bold inscription King James Version.
If the bible was first written in Greek, then it would be common knowledge that those who wrote the bible were Greeks and they wrote in their language. God does not change, His words will not change, and therefore the Greek meaning of words in the bible will always be superior to the interpretations of King James. Someone said, all the answers we need are in the bible, all we have to do is understand what we read. Its plain and simple, the most widely known version of the bible is the King James Version. [version means (according to the dictionary) a particular account of some matter, as from one person or source, contrasted with some other account, a translation]. This does not mean real account.

I will give you the findings of my research for fornication, the true meaning, the Greek meaning;
Fornication. porneia, por-ni'-ah; harlotry (includ. adultery and incest); fig. idolatry:-fornication.

In plain English, fornication means sleeping with prostitutes.

This has not being written in any way, shape or form to promote/demote sex, however, if you have questions like I do, this might prompt you to make enquires and share your findings with the world.

I have not written this to confuse anyone, though the true meaning of fornication means sleeping with prostitutes; that should not be a reason for anyone to abuse sex.

All I want to know is what makes sex unacceptable before marriage and acceptable after marriage?

RELIgion...no im not RELIGIOUS

Religion is a set of beliefs and practices, often centered upon specific supernatural and MORAL CLAIMS about reality.
Religion also CONTAINS ancestral or cultural traditions, writings, history, and mythology, as well as personal faith and mystic experience. The term "religion" refers to both the personal practices related to communal faith and to group rituals and communication stemming from shared conviction.

My issue with religion started during the events of September 11, 2001, the atrocious events that unfolded on the television screen made me cringe. I would spare you the details of the happenings of that day, however, I was very flabbergasted to learn that the suicide bombers did GOD a favour, can you imagine doing the GOD a favour? It was accepted in their religion to die for GOD. The event and new knowledge prompted me to make enquires about religion and indeed GOD.

There are many religions in the world today, you do not have to go far before you discover a new form of religion. Each one of them have set rules and laws that followers have to adhere to; some examples are dietary laws, clothing laws and even morals. Each religion worships GOD in their own way and some religion might look at another religion as inferior or invalid.
Who is to say that one reliigon is superior and the other is inferior. Which religion leads to God? Which religion has the right set of rules or laws? Which religion is more spiritual?
The truth is the answers to the above questions depends on your background, your environment, your family’s beliefs, your personal experiences, your level of faith etc.
I will not be able to comment on other religions apart from the one known as “CHRISTIANITY”; this is because I was brought up as a christian. Apologies are in order, if you are of a different faith, however I hope you can relate to some of the points I make.
Christianity is a religion centered on the LIFE and TEACHINGS of JESUS CHRIST, and christians believe that JESUS is the true and only son of GOD. Do I believe that Jesus is the true and only son of God? This I BELIEVE to be a FACT.
If Christianity does center on the life and teachings of Jesus, why do we need the old testament part of the bible?, is this part of the bible irrelevant to christianity? Why do we need the bible?, and is the bible the word of God?

The old testament part of the bible contained the creation of the world, the laws of Moses, the promises of God to the Isrealites, the struggles and lives of the Isrealites to the promise land, and the prophesise of the coming of Jesus Christ. This part of the bible contains the ways of Judaism. Yes JUDAISM.
Is the old testament irrelevant to Christianity?
I would have to say a big fat NO, if I believe Jesus to be the son of God which I do, then I want to learn everything about him, his ways, and his people. I also believe in the Trinity so I would also like to know how people in the past related to God and how God treated this people, however my belief in JESUS has nothing to do with the old testament. I understand the old testament to be documented information about some people that related to God, see I believe that God also related to people outside the geography stated in the old testament. I WOULD LIKE TO STATE THAT EVEN THOUGH I DO NOT BASE MY BELIEF IN JESUS ON THE INSCRIPTIONS IN THE BIBLE, I BELIEVE THAT THE BIBLE IS VERY RELEVANT.
The bible is needed because it contains the life and teachings of Jesus, and also the growth of the new faith called christianity. Many would say that the bible is the word of God, I say, the bible contains documented words of God spoken to different groups of particular people. I guess the next question is who wrote the bible? Different books of the bible were written at different periods by people who wish to document happenings that were new/strange to them at that point. You can not say to me that Moses was writing EXODUS with a pen and paper while he was crossing the red sea. The bible was put together many years after Jesus left the earth, when Paul wrote letters to differents nations (corinthians, ephesians etc). Some parts of documentations were also removed from the bible to fit into the laws and traditions of that time.
Christianity has many forms, shapes and sizes. There are a many types of christians, differents ways, different beliefs even in Christianity. All in the name of religion. The christian religion has benefited some people, it has provided a sense of belonging for some, hope for some, and restoration for some.It has also caused so many people so much. Africans were taken as slaves in the name of christianity, so many lifes has being lost in the name of christianity.
Religion to me is boundaries, it is full of laws, regulations, do’s and don’t’s. As Christians we need to seek to follow the life of Jesus, adapt His ways to our ways. If you study Jesus properly, He was not religious, everything He did was out of love and that was all He preached about. He stressed the importance of relationship with the Father, he stressed the importance of Love. He took the laws of Moses, the laws and ways from the old testament and he simplified everything. LOVE is all we need.

Jesus said he the only way, no one gets to the Father unless through Him, I believe this, He is the path I am moving on. When Jesus died, something happened, the curtains of the temple spilt, this signifies that Jesus has created a link between Man and the Father. That is the only link I need, I do not religion, I AM NOT RELIGIOUS.

What would you do?

“Hold on, someone is trying to call me”
I move the mobile telephone away from my left ear to see whose name was flashing on the LCD screen. It is Dayo, my friend of over six years. I stare at the liquid crystal display screen wondering if I should hit the call receive button or not. I hit the call receive button after a few flashes but he is not on the other side of the line, instead I hear a slightly high pitch voice of Joyce.
“Who was that? I have being here saying hello but you have being quiet, I hope all is well?”
I adjust myself in my bed, sit upright, switch on the side bed lamp, and my eyes struggle to adjust to the now lit room.
“Joyce, I will call you back in the morning, I would really like to get some sleep now”
“But you said you will have an answer for me today, I can’t help this anymore, the past is the past, I am ready for the future, I am ready for you”, she sounded more serious
“Seriously, I really need to get some sleep, it is almost 3 and I have to be up by 6, plus I have a long day ahead”
“Ok, about we do lunch?”
“Sure, I get off at 1”
We say our good nights and I lay my head on the pillow, close my eyes tightly and try so hard to drift into Sleep-Ville. I can’t stop moving around, I can not sleep; I can not stop thinking about Dayo.

I met him at the university; we hit it off from the first time we played football on the fields of Warwick University. He was very good on the right wing, he reminded me of the great George Finidi of the Nigerian super eagles. We also stayed in the same block and even attended the same classes. We did everything and went everywhere together. He was my brother from another mother; he liked women to a pulp and he would always get into one drama or the other.
He was what one would describe as a Casanova until he met her. She changed a lot about him, from the way he dressed to the way he talked and even the way he saw life. He loved her more than cooked food; it was obvious after a while that they were going to be together forever.
I became the intermediate guy, the one who would tag along to every event, even if it was my idea and I had invited them. I was also the peace maker, whenever they had any burst up, they would come to me to tell their sides and I was responsible for making peace. I was not in a stable relationship then so it was easy for them to always disturb me with their love affairs, however, I was not bothered as I was just happy being good friends with the both of them.
After University, Dayo got a well paid job in the heart of Nigeria, the place most people would call Abuja. Joyce cried and cried after he left but they promised to always visit each other frequently. Joyce and I continued being friends; we would call Dayo together, sit and chat to him for so many hours on Microsoft msn chat on the World Wide Web. They continued their love across the ocean and I was very happy getting on with my life.

Joyce started spending more time at my place when I moved to South London about three years after Dayo left; I had secured a good job with an office with the view of the Thames. It was ten times better pay than what I was getting at my old place of work. I loved the river so much I got a pad by the river which happened to be about ten miles away from Joyce’s house. She called me regularly on the mobile telephone; she would suggest movies, theatres, shows and so on. She also called every night before she slept. We began spending so much time together it began to get weird as I couldn’t tell Dayo about this anytime we spoke on the telephone. Even though they had broken up the relationship due to distance, he still expressed his feelings towards her in his words. He had started making plans about coming back to the United Kingdom and hopefully reignite the lost spark between the both of them.

Two weeks ago, she came over and said that she wanted to be with me, she moved closer and kissed me on the lips. I was so taken aback that I didn’t even realise that my tongue had slipped into her mouth, it felt really good but I had to break free when Dayo’s image appeared in my mind. I reminded her about Dayo and how we were friends but she called him the past and me the present.

I have harboured feelings for her for a long time now and since the kiss I have ignored Dayo’s calls and text messages. I can not stop thinking about her and indeed him but I have to do what is best for me.

It is almost 5:30am and I have to get ready for work soon, another night has gone by, another sleep has pass me by, I can not wait to see Joyce today but I need to know where my heart lies. Confess and stay loyal to my friend Dayo or be Joyce’s future?